What do people love to do this time of year? Socialize, of course! Whether you\u2019re eager to spend the holidays with those you care about most or are just looking to inject some fun and activity into dreary winter days, hosting and attending parties is always fun. Chances are you\u2019ll be attending more get-togethers than you\u2019re hosting, so what\u2019s the etiquette around hosting? Some of it\u2019s obvious: RSVP in a timely fashion, pay attention to the dress code, and find out what you need to bring (if anything). But what about bringing a gift for your host or hostess?<\/p>\n
Those raised by old-school parents wouldn\u2019t dream of showing up empty-handed to a party. But just as there\u2019s proper etiquette to follow when accepting or declining an invitation, so there\u2019s good etiquette around choosing and giving hostess gifts. The point of most rules of etiquette is to avoid offending anyone, so let\u2019s review a few rules of etiquette surrounding the giving of hostess gifts.<\/p>\n
A hostess gift is just what it sounds like \u2013 a gift you bring with you to present to the host or hostess of an event as way to say, \u201cthank you for having me;\u201d (i.e. \u201cthank you for your generosity in inviting me into your home and showing me your hospitality\u201d).<\/p>\n
A hostess gift is unlike other gifts in that it should be thoughtful while remaining small. You\u2019re not trying to repay the host or hostess for their generosity in having you over (to imply such would be insulting). Nor is a hostess gift the same as a birthday or holiday gift.<\/p>\n
Hostess gifts tend to be less personal than regular gifts, and often include items for the hostess\u2019s home (e.g. a set of linen napkins, special utensils, or hand towels), items the hostess can set out right away for all the guests to enjoy (like bottles of wine, scented candle, a bouquet of flowers, or edible fruit arrangements), or something the hostess can enjoy later alone or with her family (like a box of chocolates or a box of oranges or other fresh fruit).<\/p>\n
Ideally, you should prevent your gift to the hostess as soon as she welcomes you into her home (i.e. \u201cHere, this is for you \u2013 thanks so much for having us; we\u2019re happy to be here!\u201d).<\/p>\n
If there\u2019s a big crowd and your host doesn\u2019t greet you at the door, it\u2019s fine to leave your gift on a side table with other such unwrapped gift boxes. As long as there\u2019s a \u201cTo and From\u201d tag on it (that you\u2019ve filled out, mind you!) you don\u2019t even need to say anything to your hosts \u2013 they\u2019ll find it later.<\/p>\n
When presenting your host or hostess with a gift, you should aim to be somewhat discreet (after all, some of your fellow guests may not have thought to bring a gift and you don\u2019t want to add awkwardness to a fun and relaxed atmosphere).<\/p>\n
Unless it\u2019s clear what your gift is (like a basket of fruit or a bottle of wine), don\u2019t expect the hosts to unwrap it. Even if they can tell what it is, you shouldn\u2019t be hurt if they don\u2019t remark on it overmuch\u00a0 \u2013 most likely they\u2019ll thank you for the token and assure you that they\u2019ll open it later. This is not a snub \u2013 the host and hostess will be busy keeping the party running smoothly and seeing to the comfort of all<\/em> their guests (including you); you shouldn\u2019t expect them to stop and admire your gift. To do so would (again) also be awkward in front of other guests who may not have brought a gift.<\/p>\n Hostess gifts are one of those rare gifts where a reciprocal thank-you note is not expected, so you shouldn\u2019t expect one of those, either. That\u2019s because the hostess gift itself is a thank-you gift \u2013 you\u2019re<\/em> saying thank you; you shouldn\u2019t expect the recipient (who is already showing you their hospitality) to thank you in return beyond a verbal thank you at the time the gift is given (and\/or maybe a follow-up text later).<\/p>\n As stated above, hostess gifts shouldn\u2019t be too ostentatious \u2013 you\u2019re thanking the hostess for her hospitality, not trying to pay her back.<\/p>\n That doesn\u2019t mean you should grab the first thing you see at the store, however – gourmet food gifts are wonderful, but keep in mind your hostess may have allergies, and while some people love scented candles, others find them overpowering.<\/p>\n Remember, just because a gift is small, doesn\u2019t mean it can\u2019t be meaningful! Think about your recipient \u2013 his or her likes and dislikes \u2013 while choosing a hostess gift, and you can be sure of future invitations from them.<\/p>\nDo put a little thought into your gift.<\/strong><\/h3>\n